What is the point of loving myself?

Not long ago, at the end of a somatic therapy session, someone looked me in the eye and asked: “What’s the point of loving myself?” It’s a deceptively simple question-one that slices straight to the heart of our struggles. And yet, it’s a question so many of us quietly wrestle with, day after day.

Here’s the truth: Every single thing in your life-your relationships, your health, your sense of purpose-begins with how you treat yourself. Self-love isn’t just a trendy hashtag, a self-help cliché or the new "woke" concept. It's not about bubble baths or buying yourself flowers - though those are nice, too.

Self-love is survival, it's the foundation & the key that unlocks your freedom!

What Does Freedom Really Mean?

When you think of freedom, maybe you imagine wide-open highways, endless skies, or the thrill of possibility - or so I imagined it for a very very long time. But I've learned that the deepest, most lasting freedom? Isn’t about where you can go or what you can do.

It’s about how you feel inside your own skin, to dare to you show yourself to the world.

And at the very core of that inner liberation is one essential ingredient: self-love.

Why Do We Crave Love So Much?

You want to be seen, right? You want to be loved? Ofcourse, we all do.

But when that love doesn’t come the way we hope, we twist ourselves into knots, trying to earn it-changing, shrinking, molding ourselves into someone we’re not, just for a taste of validation.

Every time you do this, you drift further from your true self. You trade authenticity for approval. And the cost is your freedom.

So many of us move through life haunted by invisible voices:

• Self-doubt

• Fear of judgment

• The need to please

• The endless chase for perfection

These voices keep us small. They silence our real voice, dim our passions, and make us question if we’re ever enough.

So we wait... and look at other people passing us by. We wait for others to love us fiercely, to fill up our cup.. but when we look in the mirror, we can’t even whisper, “I truly deeply adore you” to ourselves. - no we whisper: "why are you so stupid" - "That wasn't good! You made a fool of yourselves" - "You're not good enough, that's why nobody loves you".

The Radical Act of Self-Love

Self-love is not about ignoring your flaws or pretending you’re perfect. It’s about seeing yourself-truly seeing yourself-messy parts and all, and truly feeling, “I am enough as I am right now - I love this about me - I'm okay - I may cry, feel sad or ask for help - I love you - I'm healing and it's okay to stumble”

When you accept your quirks, your strengths, and even your scars, you stop begging for the world’s approval. You become your own source of validation. Suddenly, the opinions of others lose their grip, and your life begins to reflect what genuinely nourishes your soul.

What Happens When You Love Yourself?

• You set boundaries that protect your energy.

• You say “no” without guilt.

• You chase what lights you up, not what pleases others.

• You stop shrinking to fit someone else’s expectations and start expanding into your truest self.

  
  

This is where real freedom begins: In the courage to be unapologetically you.

How Do I Start?

• Notice the stories you tell yourself. - They are just stories, a critical voice, often not true.

• Forgive yourself for being human.

• Speak to yourself with the same tenderness you’d offer a child, a friend, or a beloved pet.

• Make choices that honor your needs.

• Set boundaries that protect your peace.

• Treat yourself with compassion, not criticism.

  
  

As you do this, something magical happens: Your relationships deepen. Your resilience grows. You attract people and experiences that mirror the respect you’ve learned to give yourself.

Let’s bust a myth

Self-love doesn’t mean you have to go through it alone or never need anyone. It means you respect yourself enough to know what you need, to ask for help when you need it, and to surround yourself with people who reflect the love you’re learning to give yourself.

That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom. That’s real self-care.

Another myth: "If I love myself, then how can i love others? I'm being selfish."

Self-love isn’t about loving yourself instead of loving others. It’s about loving yourself so deeply that you can love others more fully. When your cup is full, you have so much more to give.

You become a better friend, partner, parent, and colleague-not because you’re flawless, but because you’re real.

So, Why Love Yourself?

Because you are the only person you’ll spend every single moment of your life with.

Because the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you’ll ever have.

Because you deserve to feel at home in your own skin.

Because it is your freedom!

Freedom is a state of mind. It begins with loving yourself so you can live authentically. You’ll find the world opening in ways you never imagined-and you’ll experience a freedom no outside circumstance can ever take away.

With love,

Hanne

PS: If you’re struggling with this, know that you’re not alone. Self-love is a practice—a muscle you build, one gentle choice at a time. And every step you take toward yourself is a step toward a richer, more authentic life.

Ready to take that first step? I’m here to walk beside you. Ask me a question or book your free appointment to get to know each other.

I'm looking forward meeting you!